Risky

Today I realized that I'm too cautious. I don't like to take risks. I take the easy way.

Today I realized that my life is meh because I don't like to do things that are uncomfortable, different, or would require me taking a risk. I do have a good life. I have a job I absolutely love, and it pays the bills and then some, but I think I could be living a much more exciting life if I said screw it and just did things. But even as I wrote that, something inside of my was yelling no.

This summer was really my first time saying, I don't give a hell, I'm doing it. I became more adventurous, but I still was cautious when I was doing that. I made a big step when I said I'm moving out, I'm living on my own. If I wouldn't have taken that risk, I would be stuck doing nothing, or at least not doing what I am right now. That decision to move out was hard. It was tough living on my own when I didn't have a job. Then I took another chance and put my application in to a web design firm, and now I am working on web sites and loving it.

Looking at those few risks I took and the good that came from them makes me wonder what would happen if I would take more risks.

Looking back, have I made any decisions that have made a negative impact on my life? Not really. I mean, I've made decisions that hurt, or went wrong, but if I wouldn't have made those, my life would be completely different, and I don't think in a good way.

There are things in my life that aren't going the way I wanted them to. I tried to control them by being passive, but it didn't work. What if I would have been active? At the very least it would have been no different at all. So really I lost because I was being passive.

Most of my decisions are also based on other people and what they think of me. Even if I don't know them or haven't seen them before. I've held back a lot just because I want people to think highly of me, or at the very least, not think I'm an idiot. I also don't say a lot of what I think I should say, just because of the chance it might offend someone.

What am I trying to get at with all this? (sorry for my language) Don't give a damn. Screw being comfortable, if other people don't like me, oh well. Don't be so cautious to the point it's hurting you instead of helping.

This is a scary thought to me. I know it's what I want to do, but my logical self says no. But I am rebelling against my cautious side and taking risks.

What does this mean? Well, it first means not giving a damn about what other people think about me. This is going to be the hardest for me as I like to please other people. The second means saying what I want. I often don't say anything because I don't want to sound dumb or because it may have the chance of offending someone. Third it means taking risks. It means doing things I maybe normally wouldn't do and doing things that may be a little uncomfortable. Overall it means being active in getting what I want. Sure things aren't always going to go my way, but at least if they don't I can say I tried.

Watch out for a new me. One that takes risks.

Web Design, Photography, and Music

All that, plus film making sums up my life.

I work doing web design, then I get home and most nights I do some coding for personal projects. For example, I updated some of the information on my personal site, mloberg.com, plus rewrote some of the scripts and made the site load faster the other day. Now I am working on a Flavors.me clone through Tea-Fueled Design, plus making a site for Tea-Fueled Design.

The next thing that makes up my life right now is photography. In the past week, I've been out 3 nights taking pictures. I am trying to buy another lens for my camera (a Canon 30D), because all I have is a 50, and that doesn't work well in a lot of situations.

I have been playing with HDR. Photographers seem to hate HDR, and I can see why, but I love the results. I have one HDR image right now and hope to have more when I get my new lens.

The last thing that makes up my life right now is music. Not so much in playing it (though I do it every Wednesday), but listening to it. I am currently on a Young Adult Contemporary/Pop kick, which consists of a lot of Paramore, plus Sherwood and The Fray.

One other thing that's been big in my life is film. I haven't got a chance to do that because 1) I no longer have a good camera that will take video 2) I have no time with all these other things 3) I don't have a good plot to work with.

That's my life right now. What items/hobbies/activities are big in your life right now?

-Matt Loberg

Paramore

I've been listening to Paramore a lot lately. My favorite songs right now are Misery Business, Ignorance, Brick by Boring Brick, and Decode.

I've also enjoyed Ground Beneath My Feet by Sherwood.

You should check out those songs if you haven't heard them.